Do you believe in them?

Dear pastor,

I once read a story about a little boy who wanted to play darts with his dad. He told his dad: “I will throw the dart and you say ‘wonderful!’”

How important for each of us to remember that we really need people to believe in us and to cheer us on.

As you and I pastor our people, we need to think about the words we use to help them know that we believe in them.

If we mention to them that we miss them in church and they come up with some excuse why they couldn’t be there, we can either respond with:

• “you know you are letting you family down when you don’t come” or we can say:
• “we will always save you a seat. I know that as you come to church and bring your family you will truly be a blessing and encourage to them.”

I have visited with people before who really were convinced that they could never forgive someone because the pain was too deep. But as the Lord led, me I said to them: “I believe that God is going to help you to forgive them. I know you can do it as you lean on the Lord.”

So many people have been told so many times that they cannot do it (even by themselves) that they have begun to believe it.

Between the harsh, critical words that people regularly hear from others and from their own negative self-talk it is no wonder that people throw in the towel, sometimes before they even make an effort.

As pastors, we need to believe in people. We can’t reproach them negatively and expect to get a positive response. We can’t criticize how well they are singing, how regularly they are “amen-ing” or deride them for not exuberantly saying “good morning” when we great them in worship service. This will never glean a positive response.

As pastors, we need to say things like:

• You are so kind
• You are such a good listener
• We have such a generous congregation
• I’m so proud of you, seeking to do the right thing
• Thank you for making such a great effort
• I know that with God helping you, you will be able to _____________________

We know that flattery is lying and that the world is all about using platitudes to puff people up and get things from them. That is not at all what I am talking about.

Instead we need to be the ones that believe God can save their marriage, God can deliver them from addiction, God can provide for them what is lacking, and we need to be the ones who believe that our people can indeed walk by faith, believing and doing what God says.

So please, this week, believe in people, let them know that you do, and spur them on toward love and good deeds by your affirming words: “I know that with God’s help you can!”