My Imperfections

So here’s the thing I know…

People around me have seen and known my imperfections.

They have been the recipients of my awful attitudes, biting words and harsh looks. They have had to deal with the times I have let them down, left them hanging or made them feel unwanted, unappreciated or unloved.

Now I constantly hope that they see my heart and know that it is good and that I didn’t intend to hurt them.

I hope that they see my desire is to help people and to honor God, but I don’t know if they do know that. And is it possible that some of the times my behavior or words came out exactly as it originated: as selfishness, rudeness and unkindness?

I wish that I could say that when I have hurt other people it was only a misunderstanding or that it was always unintentional but that simply is not true. When selfishness acts, people get hurt, and to be selfish is a choice.

Most often I think to myself that people see past my imperfections to the deeper love and goodness (of God) within me, but I also need to make a significant effort at letting God’s fruits within me flow outwardly to those around me. 

And finally here is where my heart is grieved and I have a deep and abiding concern: what if the prevalence and pain of my imperfections has kept others from knowing or believing the gospel of Jesus Christ? What if people have heard my words and seen my actions and decided that either gospel isn’t true or if I am an example of Christianity then they don’t want to have any part of it?

This grieves and concerns me and I don’t exactly know what to do about it. 

I know I need to apologize to every person I have ever hurt and by building those bridges perhaps lead them to (or back to) a belief in Christ, but I don’t always know who I have hurt or how I have hurt them.

So here I say: If I have ever hurt you by my words, attitudes or actions, I am sorry and I beg your forgiveness. I hope that you will in no way doubt the gospel of Jesus Christ or the character of God because of my failings. I hope that in spite of my sins and offenses towards you that you will still be able to live in the fullness of peace, joy and love that God offers. Although I cannot take back what I have done to hurt you, I hope that with your prayers and the help of the Lord that I will not continue to hurt you or the kingdom of God. 

I pray that each of us will somehow be able to serve as signposts pointing people to God instead of stumbling blocks who keep them from Him.