So many of us simply want love, acceptance and approval from the people around us. The problem is that people may not offer acceptance without certain conditions and their approval of our choices and beliefs may not actually help us to become better versions of ourselves.
In this article I want to talk about how we can overcome the generalities, the judgments, and the unhealthy and/or unrealistic expectations that seem to be ever-present in this world.
There are myriad reasons why people box others in, define them according to some unfair or uninformed assumption, or why they withhold praise, affirmation, affection and acceptance.
One thing we know however is that God accepts us as we are, where we are. He accepts us when we are broken, foolish, prideful, and hurt sinners. He welcomes us into His family and embraces us with His love. He accepts us when we are tired, weary and lukewarm. He accepts us when nothing seems to be going right.
Sadly people are most often not like that.
Another thing we know is that for some reason we often associate our own personal value or worth with the approval of others, and yet God is the one who determines our value and worth and it ought to be his approval alone that we seek. When humans approve or disapprove of others’ behaviors, choices and beliefs they are basing their approval on a limited perspective and with limited understanding. However, when God offers His approval, it is because He has perfect vision, perfect wisdom and perfect understanding.
Sadly people will approve or disapprove based upon their agenda, preference, opinion, likes, dislikes and even based upon their particular attitude or emotional state on any given day. We shouldn’t yearn for approval from such a fickle and shortsighted bunch (and therefore since we are part of said group, we ought to be very careful about offering our approval or disapproval).
Finally, the culture of this world has somehow evolved (devolved?) into an atmosphere of judging others that are different. The current climate is one of pre-judging, alienating, ostracizing, belittling, shaming and otherwise attacking people who are different.
To overcome in this toxic culture, we must accept others as Christ accepted us, we must make judgments ONLY according to what God reveals to us in His holy Word and by His Spirit, we must seek ONLY the approval of God and we must consistently live with an openness to other people regardless of how different they are.
Let us seek to draw near to God so that He can shape and form us in His perfect image of holy love and then let us live His holy love out in this crazy mixed-up world. We won’t be able to change the world, but perhaps we can lead one person at a time to the acceptance of God, that they would seek His approval and that they would then live out His holy love in their own lives. If this happens over and over and over again in various individual lives, then perhaps like a wave that is building and growing, a revival of God’s salvation, of people seeking God’s ways, and of people living out God’s holy love will wash over the world!
If you need some acceptance today, turn to God, pray to Him, He will absolutely accept you right where you are, into His family. He only asks that you believe that He exists and that He saves those who call on His name in repentance and follow Him.
If you need approval today, look to God, ask Him to evaluate your recent beliefs and choices. If He tells you that He doesn’t approve, don’t throw a fit, instead, ask Him to change you and then you will bask in the glory of knowing God approves and that His approval means you are on the right path, doing the right things for the right reason.
If you are overwhelmed and at the end of yourself because of people judging or rejecting or disapproving of you (and others), turn to God and ask Him to remind you yet again that He is your refuge and strength and He is your defender. Let the Lord sort out all that is wrong in this world, and instead rest in His unconditional love and His everlasting kindness.
Pastor Michael Johnson 