You won’t ever measure up

We all know how hard we are on ourselves. We don’t cut ourselves much slack, but keep pushing ourselves harder and farther. We expect a lot from ourselves and seek discipline to improve ourselves and sometimes chastise ourselves when we fall short of our own expectations, hopes and dreams. And yet when things really fall apart we do give ourselves grace (for we know how hard we tried and what our motive really was). As hard as we are on ourselves, there comes a place where we say to ourselves “You tried hard, you really had good intentions, but no one is perfect, so pick yourself up and keep going”. 

The sad thing is that as hard as we are on ourselves we also judge others quite harshly as well. Furthermore, whereas at some point we give ourselves grace, many times we withhold that same grace and patience from those around us (who are equally imperfect and yet hopefully also trying hard and filled with good intentions). Tragically, at some point or another when we see other people’s behaviors and hear their words we determine to finally judge them as not measuring up to some standard we have in mind for them. Instead of offering grace to them and seeking to help them take another step in their journey of development and growth, we many times will draw a line in the sand and finally express that we are done with someone else simply because they can’t measure up.

As justified as we feel when doing this with others (because we have evidence and have seen the proof that defends our position!) we don’t feel nearly so at peace with the situation when someone else determines that we are too far gone and that we won’t ever ultimately measure up. It hurts, it stings and it bites when others express (verbally or non-verbally) that we aren’t good enough. We struggle and wrestle with a myriad of thoughts and emotions when we realize that all of our efforts aren’t good enough for others to accept me, give me grace, walk with me, encourage me and help me to become a better me.

I want to challenge you to consider two things:

1. You won’t ever measure up to what everyone thinks is perfect, acceptable and appropriate. Instead you must live according to a higher standard and that is the call, revelation, Word and Spirit of God. When we live according to God at work in us then we can know that He will provide the wisdom, strength, insight, knowledge, discernment, etc to complete the tasks we are called to and He is also able to provide the grace and redemption when we mess up.
2. In light of the crushing blows that we receive when others don’t accept us, we ought to pay particular attention to giving grace upon grace and being patient, loving and kind when the people around us seem to struggle and fall. Grace, mercy and love can bring hope into people’s lives, empower them for a better tomorrow and help them to know the fullness of life and possibility that is available from God and in Him.

Romans 15:7 Therefore, accept one another, just as Christ also accepted us to the glory of God.