Leading others to change

Can I share something with you that I believe will tremendously help you as a leader?

All behavioral modification is self-chosen. What I mean is this: “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink”.

In leadership we are constantly seeking to help people improve, discover a better path, realize their own fullest potential and so on and so forth. But when it comes down to it, we can help people (the best that we know how, and we don’t know everything) but yet each person has to choose for themselves what they will and won’t change about themselves and their actions.

Don’t get me wrong here. I am a Christian and ultimately I believe that the change we need has to be brought about by the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives, yet even in this we have to agree with God. In order for God to change our hearts we have to let him. In order for there to be a change in the way we live and treat others there must be a change in our beliefs.

For my own behavioral modification, I must believe that the way I have been doing it doesn’t work any more. I must believe that there is a better way. I must realize that the better way requires something of me. I must choose my own path (and I pray that the path you and I choose is God’s path of truth and righteousness), and the reality is that we each get to choose.

As leaders we can help others discover the possibilities however they must choose for themselves whether or not they will live within the realm of these expanded horizons. It doesn’t matter that we can see their potential, if they don’t. It doesn’t matter how many times we tell them they are capable of something new or something more, if they don’t agree with us and actually begin to do something about it.

Think about it in your own life. When do actually put down that extra piece of cake and instead grab an apple? Only when you believe the extra cake is hurting you, the apple will help you and only when you enact your will power to choose what is better.

The same is true for all of us. We only change our course of action when we realize one thing we are doing is hurting us, another could help us and we actually have the will power to choose what is better.

So how exactly does that change how we lead and serve others?

For one, the pressure is off of us to somehow change other people. Simply put, we can’t and we are not called to. Our job is to reveal the possibilities, speak hope and encouragement into people’s lives and let them choose.

Second, we must re-visualize and redefine our role as leaders. Instead of seeing ourselves as those who are pouring the right ingredients to people so they turn out just right, we must see ourselves as those who explain reality and who proclaim the possible. If we choose for them by exerting our “authority” the job may get done but the person will be left empty who has not grown into their own potential.

Lastly, we must recognize that we cannot proclaim possibilities or equip others to be who they can be if we ourselves are not seeking out behavioral modifications which help us to realize our full potential. If we are stagnant we cannot help others grow. If we are stuck in a rut, we cannot help them out of theirs.

Behavioral modification is a must if we want to grow. The same is true for those we lead. But recognize this: behavioral modification that is real and lasting is always self-chosen. Choose this day what path you need to be on in order to become all that God is calling you to be. Agree with God about everything, let your behavior reflect those beliefs and finally let the changes of your belief and behavior result in a better leading and serving of those around you.