Let us examine a little more closely what we should do with other people’s expectations and our judgments of others. I want to in particular examine some of the negative consequences of our judgments on other people.
As a pastor I have often been on the receiving end of living in a ‘fishbowl’ where nearly everything is my life seems to be on display. Quarterbacks are quite aware of living in this place of constant scrutiny. Their critics are called ‘Monday morning quarterbacks’. And the reality is the higher profile your role or responsibility or the larger your ‘audience’ the greater the likelihood of receiving much ‘constructive criticism’.
I have said numerous times before that if a president of the United States (or of some fortune 500 company) spent all his or her time responding to criticisms they would not have time to actually do anything helpful for society or their organization. The truth is that this is exactly the scenario faced by many leaders. People want to know why we do certain things, why we don’t do other things, why we didn’t ask them for advice, why we said things a certain way and not another way and so on and so forth. The frequency and on-going presence of these expectations from other people can actually cripple a person’s leadership (whether a pastor, business person, teacher or some other role).
When people are constantly berated and judged they begin to second guess every decision:
“What if this isn’t the right or best way?”
“How will so and so respond to this decision?”
“I wonder if this is the smartest, wisest use of my time, resources, energy etc?”
“If I do this this way, what will the response be? What about fall-out?”
“I wonder if I am even capable of doing this job?”
“Maybe this organization would be better off with someone else leading?”
As someone has once said “Over-analysis can bring paralysis” and often times this is exactly happens to people who are incessantly critiqued. There is a place of health and growth that people living in a glass house must reach for so as to be aware (as necessary) of criticism and yet not allow such words to cripple their effectiveness and mission. On the other hand what would it be like if we each made it our goal not to state “This is how it should have been done…” and instead ask “How might I pray for, encourage and help them to find and live out God’s perfect will for their life?”
Pastor Michael Johnson 